“What’s your love language?”
Unless you’ve read the book The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman, or are at least familiar with the concept behind it, you’re bound to wonder what on earth a love language is. Isn’t love a universal language spoken and understood by all?
Apparently, there are several ways to express your love and the author refers to each one of them as a love language. They are Gift-giving, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. While we have all exhibited these love languages depending on the circumstance and person they’re meant for, Chapman believes that we each have a primary and secondary love language.
Furthermore, he thinks that knowing your and your mate’s love language leads to a greater understanding of each other. For instance, your partner might have trouble saying “I love you” (Words of Affirmation) but he or she won’t hesitate to cook a nice meal for you or wait for hours outside your office to pick you up (Acts of Service). Meanwhile, you, who values words and material gifts, might expect more because you don’t consider these acts as signs of your partner’s love.
Once you realize and accept that you each express your love in different ways, you will learn to be more observant and appreciate the little things that may not seem like your idea of “love”—like cleaning the house (Acts of Service), listening earnestly to you rant about an annoying co-worker (Quality Time), assuring you that he or she is there for you in good or bad times (Words of Affirmation), stroking you gently on the back (Physical Touch), or surprising you with a handmade card (Gift-giving).