“If we are not capable of apologizing, it means we are not capable of forgiveness either.”
These were the words of Pope Francis during one of his general audiences in May 2015. In his message, the Santo Papa reminded his listeners of the importance of “making peace” with those who hurt us and how a “small gesture” can be enough to mend strained relationships.
We list four tips to help you rebuild relationships––and the trust that comes with it!
Say sorry when you really mean it.
Whether we admit it or not, there are times when we apologize just to end an argument, and not because we really mean it. You might say, “sorry na,” and are taken aback when the other party gets upset and refuses to accept your apology. This is usually because others can sense your honesty, or lack of it. An apology requires sincerity and admitting one’s mistakes— otherwise, it’s just lip service. (My Pope tip: avoid using “if” and “but” when you apologize).
Wait for the right time.
There is always a time and place for everything— especially when it comes to saying sorry. Sometimes, forcing your apology on someone in the heat of the moment will only aggravate matters. In these moments, it’s advisable to wait until hot tempers cool down. Just make sure that you don’t run away or ignore the issue!
Be ready to change your behavior.
If there’s anything that will prove your sincerity, it’s the willingness to back things up with your actions. Show him, her, and yourself that you won’t be repeating the same mistakes— and that you will make an effort to do things differently from now on. This will help rebuild the trust in your relationship as you both move forward.
Apologize in a way the other will appreciate.
Text by Yen Cantiga.