On Good Advice: ‘My daughter’s nagging is driving me crazy!’

What will you do if someone you love controls what you can or cannot do? For this week’s “Good Advice”, we’re featuring a letter from one of our readers who finds herself annoyed by her daughter’s nagging. See her story below:

 

Also Read: Q&A Halloween Special: ‘My family won’t allow me to visit Lolo’s grave’

 

Question:

Our 32-year-old daughter still lives with us, and her nagging is driving me crazy! My husband loves the attention, but I don’t want her telling me that I shouldn’t go to Zumba because I might hurt myself. How can I make her understand that Papa and I are okay, and that she should stop worrying (and nagging) so much? –  Annoyed Mama, 63

 

Advice from My Pope:

Before anything else, remember that your daughter is coming from a place of love. She is only concerned about your welfare, and wants you and your husband to be safe and healthy. Next is her worrying. You’ve probably talked to her about this many times, only to be brushed aside—but maybe this is because your assertions only reached her ears and not her heart. The trick here is to not just be heard, but to be understood. “Some people think they can be good preachers because they know what ought to be said, but they pay no attention to how it should be said,” Lolo Kiko said. So instead of merely saying that you and your husband are healthy, give glowing, vivid examples of the state of your health. Show her that you’re on top of things, and that you are fully capable of taking care of yourself. Instead of telling her to stop stifling you when she tries to stop you from doing something, sit her down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Tell her that you are enjoying this golden time of your life when there are no meals to plan, lunches to pack, or kids to drive to school every morning. You can also suggest that she find her own set of interesting activities. This way, she will learn to embrace her own life and have less time to worry about you. End your entreaty with a heartfelt thank you.

 

Want to seek advice from the My Pope team? Send us your questions at stories@mypope.com.ph!

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See more questions from our readers in the November 2018 issue of My Pope Philippines.
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